Social Stigma (part 2): Unemployment
- Pholo Ramothwala
- Jul 6
- 2 min read
What’s the first thought that comes to mind when someone says, “I’m currently not working” or “I lost my job”?
Do you respond with awkward silence? Avoid eye contact? Feel pity? Or quietly decide to distance yourself?
The truth is, many of us are simply not equipped to handle this kind of reality.
When COVID hit, I lost all the consulting work I had. Just like that, I became that person. I saw the awkward facial expressions, people not knowing where to look, and I heard the long silences on the other end of the phone when I mentioned I was unemployed.
Not all stigma is loud or obvious. Sometimes it's subtle, even unintentional:
- Friends stop inviting you out, assuming you can’t afford it.
- Family, “meaning well,” keep reminding you to be grateful for what you still have.
- Even at home, the atmosphere shifts. Roles are questioned. Contributions feel invisible. Dignity starts to quietly erode.
And sometimes, it’s intentional, the judgment, the gossip, the distance from people you once trusted.
Then comes the hardest part...
🔁 Self-stigma.
- You withdraw before anyone can reject you.
- You stop reaching out, avoid gatherings, and hide your struggles, afraid of being seen as a burden, a failure, or “less than.”
- You begin to carry shame that was never yours to begin with.
👉🏾 That’s what self-stigma looks like, when society’s limiting beliefs about unemployment become your own.
Here is a different way to look at things:
Losing a job doesn’t mean losing yourself. It doesn’t cancel your skills, your value, or your right to start over. I’ve been there, and I want to say this clearly:
🌱 There is life beyond unemployment.
You can rebuild. You can redefine yourself. Your worth isn’t tied to a payslip (even if it helps pay the bills 😊), and your story is far from over. Life happened - not by choice - and you are doing your best to respond.
And to those who feel uncomfortable being around someone unemployed, here’s something to reflect on:
🔹 Why do we treat unemployment like a personal failure, rather than the complex, deeply human experience it is?
🔹 How can we create homes, friendships, and workplaces where people feel supported, not judged?
I’ll leave that with you.
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