There’s Freedom in Letting Go...

By Pholo Ramothwala

Imagine seeing someone who once deeply hurt you - more often than you'd like. Each time you see them, your heart races in a way you know isn’t healthy. Or think about those sleepless nights… the days you struggle to rest because you are overwhelmed with anger or sadness towards someone, something, or even yourself.

Too often, we carry the weight of things we can’t change. Our emotions cloud our thinking, and we fail to see the positives right in front of us. Sometimes, we even blame ourselves for getting sick, as if we caused the illness, or for staying in toxic situations longer than we should have

Okay, so you feel it. My advice? 

Stop beating yourself up, not for a second longer than necessary. Take a moment to pause, reflect, and ask yourself these four questions:

• What am I really holding on to, and is it still serving me?

• Is there another way to look at this?

• Am I seeing the full picture, or just my version of the story?

• Is there a way out of this?

I have faced situations that pushed me into making tough choices, some I later regretted, others I was grateful I made. That’s life.

When my parent died violently when I was just 16, I could’ve given up. But I didn’t. I stayed focused and kept pushing toward the goals I had set for myself, one of them being finishing my studies. Years later, I realized I was being overlooked at work. Instead of shrinking into the background, I chose to resign and go after better opportunities. That decision paid off, I secured a senior position.

More recently, I have been dealing with health challenges that have forced me to make serious lifestyle changes. I won’t lie, there are moments when I feel frustrated and discouraged. But the more I took action, the more I began to see the benefits. I realised that if I’m going to manage this, or even overcome it, I have to work with the situation, not against it. That means learning to live this new version of my life - fully and intentionally.

So, here’s my question to you: How are you managing your situation?

Here’s what I have learned from the many situations I have had to deal with:

When I let negativity consume me, it drained me. It didn’t fix anything. In fact, it made things worse for me physically, emotionally, mentally. When my health declined, I became short-tempered, distracted, withdrawn. The impact spilled into my work and my relationships. I was like a live electric wire - charged, but unstable.

What about you? Think of one moment when you lost yourself. Maybe you're feeling lost right now. What did you do or what will you do to change that? I suggest you write it down. Just one or two actions.

Here’s reality worth sitting with:

We can’t always stop life’s blows, but we can choose how long we bleed. Moving forward often takes acceptance and help. Sometimes it’s a heartfelt conversation. Sometimes it’s professional support. Sometimes it’s learning from people who’ve walked the same road. Try one!

What I’ve come to understand is simple:

Letting go brings peace. It doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen. It means processing it, learning from it, and refusing to let it poison your future. Because guilt, anger, and shame? They’ve never healed anyone. Believe it or not, often your peace is your responsibility.

Final thought: 

What are you holding onto today that’s stealing your joy? Maybe… it’s time to let it go.