You Will Grow Up and See!

By Pholo Ramothwala

My late grandmother used to say to me and my best friend, “You will grow up and see.” She would often make this comment after reprimanding us, usually because we didn’t seem like we were listening to her advise.

Now that I’m older, I understand exactly what she meant. Life has a way of revealing itself - through parenting, relationships, and countless other responsibilities. With every experience, good or bad, I have realised that this stage of life (40+) comes with constant crossroads. Relationships and priorities shift. Physical and emotional needs evolve.

Sometimes, you even realise that the lyrics of the songs you grew up loving mean something completely different from what you thought. Imagine the confusion!

One of my recent crossroads has been around my health. I had to have a conversation with my employer’s Human Resources team about my work options. I’m increasingly worried that my health may not hold up in the long term. They presented me with several options, all of which I’ll need to consider carefully. It was made clear that the final decision rests entirely with me. As I processed everything, even more questions came up - more crossroads. Sigh!

Then there’s my 20-year-old daughter, who rightfully wants to move out and start her own life. Any father will tell you how terrifying that is when it comes to our baby girls. I catch myself giving endless lectures about how dangerous the world can be. I mean, she was just a baby not so long ago!

It’s just a lot!

But life must happen. We must move on. I’m learning to accept that I don’t have to figure out every crossroads. At this stage in life, I have lived enough, experienced enough, and learned enough to navigate through the challenges without unnecessary panic.

So, here’s what I do:

•         I don’t make impulsive decisions. I give myself time to think.

•         I reflect on past experiences and decisions that can guide me.

•         I weigh the potential benefits and opportunities each option presents.

•         I assess the risks and try to prepare solutions - knowing that things may still not go as planned, but preparation helps ease my stress and helps me recover faster.

In the end, when it comes to my health, I make choices that support my physical and mental well-being. When it comes to my daughter, I have agreed she can move out. I am trusting that I have done my part to prepare her for life’s challenges.

The thing is that life will always bring us decisions to make. And every time I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself of my grandmother’s words: You will grow up and see - and here I am, seeing it all unfold.